Archive | October, 2009

As much as I enjoy the fact you guys are reading this…

30 Oct

I wish I could actually know who all of you are. Oh well. You guys are so incredibly stalker-like (-cough-EMILY-cough-) but that’s okay because at least I know some people give a shit.

And I guess my life is pretty entertaining. Yeah? haha rhetorical question, don’t even think about answering.

Today, my mom asked me to wrap presents for my sister’s friend’s birthday. And then she realized the party isn’t until next Saturday. Which is like… duh mom. It’s freaking Halloween tomorrow. Anyways. I love wrapping presents. It makes me happy.

This week was just ridiculous. I think I was thrown off by the last two weeks where we had like a late start on one Monday and no school on another. And then we went back to a regular five-day schoolweek which was just like UGHHHH. Yeah.

I decided I’m going to make friendship bracelets for everyone this Christmas. And bake brownies or something. But yeah. I’ve never made friendship bracelets before and I’m going to teach myself by watching a wikihow video. I know, I’m pretty cool.

I failed my calculus test today.

I want my physics test back. And I want to know how I did on my AP lang oral.

Halloween’s tomorrow! I never really do anything for Halloween except smooch candy, duh. That’s the point of Halloween. Except I feel like my sweet tooth is dulling by the year, so I don’t really want any candy. I’ll just like go with my sister or something. One awesome thing about having little siblings: you have an excuse to do kiddie things.

I got my first issue of Seventeen yesterday. I don’t know whether or not I should regret subscribing for a year. First issue’s covergirl is Kristen Stewart. There’s an interview with he rand the rest of the Twilight bunch – as in the two guys that everyone cares about. And some incredibly irrelevant, poorly written, useless articles with tips about everything you’ll never need to know. (They even suggest that you don’t sext…wow.)

Why would I subscribe to Seventeen? I remember that I used to really like it. And now it’s just like a conglomerate of epic fails.

This weekend is going to be absolutely exhausting. There’s so much to do and not all that much time.

BUT if there’s one thing I’m looking forward to/certainly going to make time for, it’s TALLADEGA. Oh yes, it’s time to head back to that amazing 2.66 mile superspeedway. They made it safer (supposedly) so hopefully no cars end up airborne and no fans in the stands are hurt. But I’m in the mood to see a big wreck. And it’s Talladega so there will most certainly be a big wreck. Yay!

Read up on your NASCAR. And look up all the crap the drivers have to go through in the car. And then learn to drive (if you haven’t). And then drive a racecar in a legit race, probably late model or sprint cars. And then in a legit racing series (IRL, top 3 NASCAR touring divisions or Camping World East/West, F1, ARCA). And then tell me it’s not a sport. kthx


Dear Diary…

28 Oct

I don’t know where you are.

I must’ve lost you in like the fourth grade.

If I find you, I would really like to visit the past again.

And think about how much of an immature little brat I was.

That’s all.

My sister just got put in the “advanced block” at her school.

27 Oct

So now she’s following Annie’s footsteps to a perfect future, yay!

My mom just rushed in to tell me the good news.

Holy freaking crap.

“You’re sister’s going to be in the advanced class once she’s in fourth grade and she might get to skip a grade and she’ll be in algebra as a seventh grader and be super duper uber freaking amazing at every freaking subject ever.”

Greatttt job, Mom and Dad. You raised another robot. Who won’t be happy.

Except you’re going to make her into a super-athlete too.

I guess I feel bad for her now.

I feel like the world is spinning and I’m standing still.

27 Oct

Aside from the physics aspect of this, that is. Oh, you know you’ve become a total dork when you actually start using physics to explain life.

It’s more like… I don’t know. Everything is moving rapidly and I’m kind of just standing there dumbfounded. And I hate feeling helpless. If there’s one feeling I hate just as much as disappointment, it’s helplessness — I don’t want to feel like there’s nothing I can do. I want to be involved. I want to make a difference. I want to be the causation of change, not the one that’s subjected to it.

It’s been more than a week and I’m starting to think he just really doesn’t care anymore. He’s either extremely angry with me or he’s just fed up with trying to reconcile our differences.

Either way, I guess I was the one who was wrong. I was the one who pushed it. I was the one who went too far.

But I think I did all of it for a reason.

I believe that you don’t really know what anyone’s like until you put them under pressure and see how they react.

I think I’ve seen the reaction.

And as much as it kills me to keep holding out, I have to.

Homework makes me want to cry.

25 Oct

Calculus gives me a huge headache. Especially these multiple choice and free response questions. They’re supposed to prepare us for the AP test. If the AP test is like these questions… yeah. FML. I’m enormously irritated doing these. Enormously.

I had a lot of fun yesterday 🙂 I actually got to be around people of my age on a weekend! SUCCESS! But yeah, fun party. I swear Kelsey has boundless energy – it’s nevereverevereverending. And she listens to like freakishly bizarre but cool(?) music. Including a French song that seriously sounds like “he ho he ho he ho he ho” up and down, up and down, over and over and over again. We got to walk to the beach because she lives pretty nearby. The ocean’s really pretty at night; it’s calm, and it just inspires you into a state of pensiveness. Anywho, for future reference, the beach is way better at night than it is in the day.

And I talked to some people. And some people gave me advice. And I think I really need to heed that advice 🙂 I know all they want is for me to feel better, and I’m working on it. haha, that’s all I can say.

Today… I don’t know what I did but all I know is I still have a lot to do and it’s already pretty late.

I had to get one of the lang books I don’t have yet (Down and Out in Paris and London), and my dad, sister, and I ended up going like all over the District looking for random things. I went to Michaels and realized I would really like to begin making friendship bracelets or something as a method of suicide prevention during the hectic time of troubles known as the junior year of high school. My first project, though, will be a charm bracelet. I don’t know why, but I really like those things. And if people want to be cool, they can just give me a charm for my birthday or for a holiday or something, and I’ll add them I can’t add any more charms! That would be cool.

I came home and watched the end of the race. I really didn’t feel like watching the race today because it was Martinsville. For some reason, I don’t like that track. But I came home when it was like 30 laps to go, so the final laps are always fun to watch. And I saw Denny Hamlin was leading the race, and it was like, “Well at least it isn’t Jimmie Johnson or one of the Hendrick bunch.” Then, I looked at the ticker and Kyle Busch was like 11th and I was shocked because he sucks at Martinsville. (Another reason I don’t like watching races at that track.) Kyle ended up finishing 4th in a Halloween M&M’s car. What a cool guy LOL. And Denny won. Yay! But boo for no JGR chance at the title 😦

I have to read a lot in the next couple of days. I still have like 170 pages of The Awakening left. LOL.

I won’t procrastinate next time.

I promise.


Probably not.

I woke up this morning to the heaps of homework I have to do this weekend.

24 Oct

And of course, I closed my eyes and lolled around in my bed for another hour or so.

Reality sucks.

I love how we have this one weekend followed by a late start on a Monday, then a three-day weekend. And now we have to go back to the five-day school week with no late starts, minimum days, etc. I also love how I didn’t get assigned nearly as much homework during those two previous weekends, but this weekend I’m swamped. I also love how today is my friend’s sweet sixteen – which, of course, I can’t miss – and so that takes out a good chunk of work time.

I guess even if I wasn’t out tonight, I still wouldn’t be doing anything. But in case you didn’t know this about me, I really enjoy not doing anything. Sitting on the couch and watching tv for hours is a beautiful thing, my friends.

Just on a side note, I just went on the MSN homepage and, as expected, the main headline was “Obama declares swine flu emergency.” Then this picture was next to it:

I get what the picture shows, so don’t call me stupid for finding this slightly amusing. It’s just weird. Of all the pictures out there that represent swine flu, it had to be this one, eh?

Back to my incredibly miserable weekend.

I love the weekend because it gives me the chance to unwind from all the crap going on at school, you know? You don’t really have to deal with it because nothing’s there. You can go watch fake drama on an ep of Degrassi or something.

And to further take my mind off things, I have all this to do this weekend:

  • the APUSH in-class assignment we were supposed to do yesterday when we had a sub; mafia was way more fun than that
  • calculus multiple choice and free response questions
  • read The Awakening. the entire thing.
  • come up with my oral for The Awakening
  • a long reading assignment for APUSH
  • get George Orwell’s Down and Out in Paris and London & maybe start reading (hah!)
  • regular calculus homework
  • Esther Burr diction analysis

Two days is not sufficient time for all of this. No fair.

Tyra Banks is pretty weird.

23 Oct

I was watching the Tyra Show. It’s a pretty bad show. Lots of really awkward silences when the person who’s being interviewed is crying about something really menial.

Like today, it was about women who don’t feel confident in their appearances and keep beating themselves up for being ugly.

I love Tyra; I think she’s great, and the message in today’s show certainly is a important. I’m all for sharing everything ugly about myself, and I wish everyone else was too.

But some of the guests that were on today were just… wow. Like this one girl got hysterical when the producers asked her to wipe off her makeup.

-_- no really, she started sobbing. It was horrible. Just wipe that shit off your face woman. You don’t look bad without your concealer and foundation and whatever. Gooooodness. She said she had scars. I didn’t see any scars. They must be some really unnoticeable scars.

She had like acne and stuff, I guess… except that probably has more to do with her overused makeup, not her shitty genetics.

Things are really getting better. I’m glad. I know I could’ve probably taken the easy way out, and I could’ve just given up without putting up a fight. But that’s something I just cannot do. And I understand that. He’s staying away. But I don’t really think that’s because he understands too. I think it’s just because he still can’t bring himself to talk to me, and it’s getting harder now that I’ve blocked all ways of communication through a computer. And he still might be a little mad at me. I think I’m so numb to all of this that I don’t even care. I used to love him to death, and now it’s just… bleh. Another face, another place.

I’ve been getting to sleep earlier. It’s been nice, but for some reason, sleeping earlier makes me want to wake up even later. I’m more awake after five hours of sleep versus seven or eight hours. I don’t know why.

Today, we had a sub in APUSH and we messed around the whole time. Now I have a lot of homework for that class but whatever, it was so worth it. Jonathan taught me how to play Mafia. So like 10-12 of us were in the back of the room playing a bunch of rounds. It was kinda fail… No, it started off being really fail. It kinda ended really fail too. But it was fun. Once I was the cop, and I “investigated” one of the mafia except I was killed that night so I didn’t get to accuse the guy that killed me >:o And then once, it was a make-or-break round and this guy wouldn’t vote for the guy I accused and instead voted to kill me and like wtf… yeah. I was a civilian. WTF KID, I WAS THE CIVILIAN. YOU JUST LET THE MAFIA WIN.

Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

Speaking of APUSH…

Though this kind of departs from APUSH…

I think I’m going to ask this person to homecoming. I don’t know how serious I want to be about it. I asked someone last year but it was like… haha yeah. It’s kind of a similar situation, since I talk to this guy as much as I talked to the guy I asked last year. So it’s a toss up.

I’m thinking about it. Lots and lots of thinking. Though when I do ask, I’ll be giggling and it’ll totally ruin the moment. Whatever, that’s just how I am.

ANNNND last thing before I go:

Tomorrow is a very, very, very special chica’s sweet sixteen 🙂 I’m super duper excited for her and I can’t wait for her partaaay. Which is like one of the first times I’m going out on a weekend since like. A while. A very long while. But that just goes to show how amazing this girl is. HAPPY EARLY SWEET SIXTEEN KELSEY 😀