1 May

I want to stop myself before he potentially breaks my heart one last time. I just won’t be able to take that, and we both know it, so we dance around the subject with our immature jokes and even serious conversation.

How do I keep setting myself up for failure? How can I let this situation get worse and worse?

I think underneath it all, we both know this is taking a really great toll. That’s what risks have the potential to do though.

No matter what, I remember what happened last time. And I absolutely fell apart. It took me months to return to normal.

I feel like as much as I care about him, a part of me will always hate whatever it was and still is pushing him to stay with me this way. Would it have been easier if things just never got out of control?

I don’t know I’m okay with just being friends. That’s all it’ll ever be, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. People have told me I should be happy to be friends with him still, considering everything, but it’s almost a curse too.

I don’t know.

One Response to “Grrrrr.”

  1. onlytheavatar May 2, 2010 at 10:34 am #


    And I remembered the poem, and looked it up after the test… šŸ™‚ I’m going to start a poem collection!


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