Archive | September, 2010

Oops.

29 Sep

I HAVEN’T POSTED IN FOREVERERERERER but this post will be prove that this blog still means more to me than any other blog I have. Like I post semi-deep and reblog a lot of footy on my tumblr but honestly I love that I can always come back to this thing and just say whatever.

I’ve decided not to finish my China series. Just a personal decision. Originally I was going to do this long thing about everything I saw and heard and experienced but I think it’s better to just let it stay in my memory which, along with my pictures, should refresh my memory any time I need.

Okay. Time to be honest with myself.

No, I really didn’t think things were going to work out. Like hot damn did I wish that they would? Hell yeah! I mean I waited all that time and I was so certain that things were going to work out but with all this history I think it was just way too much.

I think the biggest obstacle was everything that happened last year. Sometimes I sit and think of all the stupid things I did, the anger and frustration and jealousy. I’m way bigger of a person than that. I shouldn’t have stooped to that low of a level. And I was so reactive all the time and I would get mad whenever things weren’t going my way.

I thought I was okay but then the school year started and he was just so nice and I thought things would be different because at least my feelings were reciprocated this time around. But the problem was that he just wasn’t ready. And there was a huge gap between what he said and what he meant. Like if I like someone, I want to spend time with them – willingly – and I would just want to be with them all the time. But seriously LOL like pulling him away from his friends was just impossible and I felt guilty for not letting him hanging out with them, especially since we were never even “together” together.

Nonetheless, he hurt me a lot with what he said and what he did and just this absolute reluctance to actually be with me last year, and this year it’s a little better but too little too late. I’m not trying to be spiteful. I mean if things were going better I would not be typing this blog right now so yeah I’m kinda hatin’ right now but whatever. I’m just reminded of all the wishy-washy-ness that really screwed things up last year.

Can’t we just be something and that’s that?

China, Part 1.

10 Sep

I’m tired but don’t quite feel like sleeping at the moment so I’m going to begin the account of my two week (and some odd days) trip. I’ll try to keep things chronological, but I have a hard time remembering events in order so I may just end up throwing out random events that I recall.

I left on the night of August 17th. Our flight was around midnight, but my dad insisted that we leave at 8. We got to the airport and had nothing to do for over an hour. My time of month decided to make its appearance.

If you know me, you’ll know that I was happy as @%^#% already.

We get on the plane. There are a lot of Chinese tourists who are making their way back to the homeland after a trip to the States. Actually, I’m pretty sure 90% of the people on my flight were Chinese tourists. And a lot of them were like 8- to 10-year-old boys. Gag.

Our flight is 16 hours along. If you’ve never been on a 16-hour flight, you don’t even know how painful it is. And the fact that, as I previously mentioned, my monthly gift made me want to jump out the emergency exit kept me a happy bundle of joy the entire time. And we sat in like the last row of one of the second economy class sections, and we couldn’t put down our seats the entire way and it was just awesome. And a group of those insolent energetic boys sat directly in front of us and were just on their best behavior -_-

So we land in Guangzhou, where we stayed for around 8 or 9 hours before our connecting flight to Wuhan. There’s a 7-11 in the airport, and I am super excited to see something even remotely American in China. Since the wait for our next flight is so long, my dad meets with old college buddies. We go to some restaurant that’s supposedly really good. I get my first taste of real Chinese food, and let me say, I much prefer whatever Americanized Chinese food we have here. One of my dad’s buds has a daughter who’s 21 and she wants to come to the US to study English, and she already speaks English fluently and with just a trace of an accent, so I had someone to sort of guide me around. She explained that we were “enjoying” some real Cantonese cuisine… oh joy. Anyways, more chatter and blah blah and we get dropped off at the airport for our connecting flight.

The flight to Wuhan was short. I’m 150% positive someone was smoking at the end of the flight, about 20 minutes before we landed, but everybody looked at me like I was crazy for even minding such activities. Well excuse me but last time I checked, you’re not allowed to smoke on a plane, regardless of what deranged country you’re in, and if you forgot — THERE ARE ONLY SIGNS ABOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF OUR SEATS TELLING US THAT WE CANNOT SMOKE, as well as constant reminders by the crew in both English and Chinese.

Just saying.

So we arrive in Wuhan’s international airport, whatever the name is, and we are warmly received by my uncle, aunt, cousin, cousin’s husband, and uncle’s friend. At this point, I want to sleep really, really badly.

The rest is kinda a blur. We go to check out our apartment, then we go to aunt and uncle’s house and shower and sleep.

I do remember distinctly my first impressions of the cities I visited, mostly because I was shocked.

I know I was barely 6 years old when I left, but things are not the same in China anymore.

There are cars everywhere, and little electric bicycle things (like Vespa scooters) all up in traffic going this way and that way. Coupled with the pedestrians and the taxis and the buses and the people who still rode around in bicycles, it was just one huge mess. I thought only Guangzhou was like that, but Wuhan turned out to be the exact same. These tall skyscrapers are being erected all the time, and the skyline is intruded by another new building every day. Few of the scraggly old buildings still exist, and they will soon be brought down as well.

I SHOULD NOT BE TYPING UP A BLOG ENTRY RIGHT NOW.

8 Sep

I have an essay to write on the value of literature in today’s society. 😦

AND I KNOW IF I START TYPING THIS POST MIGHT GET MONSTROUSLY LONG but whatever.

I got back from China on Monday.

I think I will post an account of my trip on the weekend when I have more time and energy to really go through it all. Because two and a half weeks was a long time. Waaaaaaay too long.

To sum it up briefly right now, I must admit that I will not be going back anytime soon. It was not a pleasant experience in the least.  The only reason I would go back now is to see family, but the trip would not last more than a week.

Yeah.

More later.

I went to school on yesterday.

I’m not really jetlagged, though I kinda am. It’s weird. When my alarm goes off in the morning, I do not want to get up, which isn’t anything new, but like it’s compounded by the fact that 7 in the morning here is 10 at night in China. So it’s extra annoying to get out of bed in the morning!

OH, okay so like all of my good friends at school have cars now. And I don’t. Well, I do when my mom doesn’t work on the weekdays. But yeah. Kels has her car, and Emily now has hers, and Sara has hers, and Tiffany has hers, and Annie has nothing 😦 IT’S OKAY, Sara gets to drive people around in a month so it’ll be okay by then.

My A days are a joke, and my B days suck. I mean today was a B day, and it wasn’t terrible but I think it’s only because today’s my first day. Things will definitely get progressively worst as the year gets going. -_-

Jasmine kindly reminded me in AP lit today that the Vampire Diaries is going to be back on tomorrow night. HELL YES! Cliffhanger at the end of last season was just too cruel.

I got a 3-pack of lashblast mascara at Costco today. Emily recommends it. And thus I am trying it. I have to throw out one of my older tubes of mascara anyways. And people rave about this all the time like it’s really amazing, so I decided to give it the benefit of the doubt. Yay for high expectations!!

I mean I have other mascaras, and I’ve tried a lot. (Yes, I’m still talking about mascara, gosh I was deprived of makeup for 3 weeks ok.) So far I really like the two clinique ones I’ve tried (lash doubling and high impact) but it’s been way more than 6 months for the lash doubling and it’s time to say goodbye 😦 I tried maybelline great lash and let me tell you, it was not a good experience; I was just too dumb to know it at the time. And then I tried this Rimmel one and accidentally got it in brown black, which I guess means we got off to a bad start, and it just flaked like sh*t so I tossed that one. And I tried l’oreal voluminous which flaked and clumped, but for some reason or another I decided to get voluminous carbon black again recently because there’s so many positive reviews and I succumbed to pressure ok -_- but it still clumps like crazy and flakes. And then I got the maybelline define-a-lash which was decent but not dramatic so I was like eh. And so now I’m trying lashblast.

^ ANNIE’S MASCARA ADVENTURES !

I was talking about last year with one of my friends today, and I realized that last year was just one big poop in Annie’s life, and that this year there will be no more big poops (if that’s even possible). I feel like everything has pretty much stayed the same, but I’ve grown as a person and changed and all that good stuff. And I don’t say that like “everyone else is still one big poop and at least now I know that I was in a big poop last year and found a way out.” I just feel like school ended, summer began… and now we’re right back at it again. Which is how it should feel. But usually I feel like a lot of things change over summer, but everything still seems to be the same to me, myself excluded.

That probably made no sense at all.

Cheers to not making the same mistakes twice!