The day after.

13 Oct

I have no doubt in my heart that he won’t even miss me. That’s how it’s always been, lopsided with me being the one who wants more than he does. I’m sure there’s always that initial sadness, but really he’ll come to realize I never was that important to him anyways. The only time he’ll probably think about me will be when he feels bad for hurting me for so long, but who knows when that realization’s going to dawn on him?

Stats is such a fun class. I haven’t had this much fun in a math class since 8th grade geometry. It’s just a bunch of seniors basically partying up the fact that they’re in a fourth period math class together. Well, that’s what I’m doing. Between Jonathan’s weird facial expressions and Wesley eating chips with chopsticks, I’m in stitches by the end of the period, or even by the time the lesson starts (after we go over homework and stuff). I think Crowe thinks I’m a terribly obnoxious student but whatever. I’m happy to end my day on a good note, thank you very much!

With that said, having fourth period classes this year is such a drag. It’s so difficult to focus. I’m a senior, and I have to be in the last class of the day from 1:55 to 3:25 every freaking day. This frustrates me to no end. So much for a fun senior year HAHA

Homecoming is Saturday. I didn’t get asked. Shocker. I shouldn’t care because of my personality type, but it would’ve been nice if someone did. As much as I hate seeing other people get asked by people in cute ways, it’s clearly because I’m jealous, duh. I feel so unspecial and unloved. I don’t think anyone gets how annoying it is to go through four years of high school basically without anyone doing something cute for them. Well, a lot of people probably do. But I hate seeing people gush over how happy they were that so-and-so asked them to homecoming in some illustrious way, and they’re all walking around school with a bouquet of flowers because someone just liked them that much. One more self-esteem boost for Annie!!

Coincidentally, these two girls and I were assigned to do a short presentation on self-esteem for psychology.

For someone who encourages girls to think more highly of themselves, I have very very very very very very low self-esteem.

Shhh, don’t let anyone know though, that would be embarrassing.

I’ve been watching all this coverage of the Chilean mine workers getting rescued. Needless to say I’ve been crying pretty much nonstop. The first miner that came out… like shit, his son is standing there, this little boy, and he seems so composed. I thought he had no idea what the hell was going on. And then his dad comes out of the shaft, and the little kid just breaks down and I am on the couch, sobbing hysterically.

I can’t imagine what it would be like, being stuck so far underground with 32 other people and not knowing if you were ever going to embrace your loved ones again. By the time they got me up to the surface, I would not be psychologically stable whatsoever. But I really admire these miners and their families for their resilient faith. I wish I could have that kind of faith. Unless pessimism is considered a faith… well then I most certainly have a faith!

2 Responses to “The day after.”

  1. fiddledd510 October 13, 2010 at 8:02 pm #

    Girl, I’m totally feeling you on this post. Some of your laments about boyfriends and homecoming dates could have been pulled straight from my high school journal. High school can be tough, just remember to be yourself and have fun. Good luck with your psychology presentation on self esteem. I think you’re probably the perfect person for the assignment.

    • Annie October 13, 2010 at 9:57 pm #

      totally right?! last year, gotta make it count.

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