My mom and I stole mayonnaise from Target.

22 Oct

Why buy when there are all these little packets for ready for your taking?

I know now is a little late to be starting on my college essays, but I never felt motivated until tonight. There’s just something about working under pressure that gets me going.

I didn’t want to write a genuine essay when I didn’t feel like I was ready. I don’t write well when I’m not motivated, and motivation – at least for me – is triggered by the randomest things. At least it came in a timely manner this time.

Believe me, with a little over a week left before my deadline… there should be enough time.

I got a good chunk of my essay done tonight. I finally decided to drag myself to my computer when I felt inspired and write everything down. Sure, I can edit and fix and nip and tuck later, but for now I just need to get my message on Microsoft Word.

Anyways.

I have the ACT tomorrow morning. This will be the second and final time. I hope to do well, but as test time draws nearer, I feel less and less pressure. I’m so proud of what I’ve done in high school, and I refuse to let a four-hour exam define my future. Bottom line: If my scores are not good enough for a college, the college is not good enough for me. If a college judges me for not doing well on a standardized exam, more power to them; I worked my butt off in high school, and I’ve shown what I’m capable of, even though on paper I may not be the most impressive, perfect, well-rounded student.

Today, I did some research on ELC. I’m virtually guaranteed into UCI at this point, have legitimate guarantees to UC Davis and UCSB, and today received a letter from UCSD. UCSD’s admission rate for ELC applicants is around 90%. For Cal and UCLA, the admission rate is around 50% (or 60% if you want to be more optimistic). I like those odds. No, they aren’t guarantees, but it feels good to know that I have a very, very good shot. I’ve come to accept UCLA more and more lately. I mean, yeah, it would be amazing if I got into my first choice, but UCLA means I get to stay closer to my family, the one thing dearest to my heart. Even though they drive me crazy, I don’t know how I would feel about having to take a plane home every holiday only to have to fly back to return to my studies!

This week was a good week. After all the fighting from last week, I’m really pleased with how things have been. I’m trying to be more appreciative of what he does right instead of criticizing what he does wrong. (I feel like an AP exam grader… reward the student for what he/she does right, don’t punish for what he/she did wrong! -_-) It really isn’t fair to him. I mean I guess I’m not being fair to myself, but things have never been better. Yeah, I want what I want, but we can’t always get what we want. I’m the last person who’s okay with settling with the next best thing, but sometimes you can’t be selfish. I guess my hope is that he’ll come around gradually, but the important thing is that he realizes what I’ve known for a while now.

Until then, I won’t push. All that’s ever resulted was a lot of fighting. And that’s not something I’m willing to return to.

In a nutshell though, things have been really good.

I’m just afraid that I’ll just suffer more if things go south again.

Tomorrow is Kels’s birthday. I would love to go out and have a good time, but as this is the last weekend to really get work done on apps before it’s time to submit them, I have to make a sacrifice.

Oh, sweet apathy.

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