It’s been a to…

26 Apr

It’s been a tough few weeks. I’m holding on still because I have to, but it’s so hard to feel discouraged. I think this is that utter despair that I heard so much about.

And yet, I am so unbefuckinglievably proud of myself for going through all of this, waking up at 5 in the morning when the alarm goes off, making the commitment to actually fight for my future. So many people before (and after) me chose to take the easy way out. I guess we’re all motivated differently and some people want a pat on the back for every thing they do right. Is that something I would appreciate? Yes. But in my life, I’ve learned that just making it is enough of a reward in itself. I don’t need to be validated.

I know I need help. I’m not afraid to ask for it. I just don’t want this to become something where I relied on other people and an institution that grade inflates like a motherf***** to get me places in life. When I work my ass off, I know I’ll get what I deserve.

You can run and tell that homeboy.